Mr. Wobert

I’m twenty-four with a Bachelors’ degree in English from the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs. I couldn’t afford to go to Colorado College (the place I wanted to go) or Colorado School of Minds (the nerdy place I should have gone) or even the University of Colorado (where all the booze, parties, and girls went). I couldn’t even afford to go to the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs the entire four years. I started at Pikes Peak Community College where anybody (I MEAN ANYBODY) can go to school. I survived on paying for school on credit cards, the few student loans, the one $700 grant, the $600 work-study job that was I lucky enough to get (by the grace of two very awesome library chicks) and a $78 scholarship from Pizza Hut (it paid for my first text book that was used and had half the pages missing). $30,000 of student debt later, now down to $6000 because I can crush a diamond in my ass cheeks on how conservative with money I am, I find myself on the Yellow Brick Road (or perhaps moldy, crumbly, brick road, that is the future. I am a published author (BUY MY BOOK! One Day, Forty Nights) that has sold maybe thirty copies because I believed in (and still believe in) that in our awesome capitalist country that we live in, a bum like me can make it as a writer. I mean, come on, I spent over $3000 for some editor guy to tell me that the D in dumpster, pardon me, Dumpster has to be capitalized! (IT IS EDITOR’S CHOICE!!!!! DO IT FOR CAPITALISM AND MOM/POP SHOPS EVERYWHERE! OR IF THAT IS NOT YOUR STYLE, DO IT FOR SOCIALISM SO IT WILL BE ORDERED TO THE MASSES AND DEMENDED DOCTORINE). I’ve been on unemployment, I’m living in my mother’s basement (thank the holy hand grenade I can mow grass), going from temp job after temp job after temp job, and I STILL PAY TAXES! I’m the 53% that pay taxes! I’ve only gotten a tax return with cash in it ONCE! And that was for $1.36!

What the fuck?! AND NOW I HAVE $300 eye drops?!!!! SOME HEALTHCARE SYSTEM!

So…….I’m the 99% because in this land of opportunity and freedom, sometimes we have to come together and tell the people in charge to suck an egg and get things right. Like the 60’s; the 1760’s, 1860’s, and 1960’s.